


My Dear Daughter

by EmilySuzanne



Category: Original Work
Genre: Depressing, Family Feels, Father-Daughter Relationship, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:09:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29678907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilySuzanne/pseuds/EmilySuzanne
Summary: A father writes a letter to his daughter.
Kudos: 1





	My Dear Daughter

My Dear Daughter, 

I got back from the church today and started crying. I’m not ready to let you go. You looked so beautiful today, holding your bouquet of yellow flowers. Everyone was there. Even your uncle was talking with your aunt. You did that. You bring people together. You always have. In fourth grade during the school play, there were kids standing off to the side. You convinced them to come and sing with you even though you had a solo. In Jr. High you brought everyone together to support the girl that had just lost her mother. You made sure that she always had a friend nearby.  
There was one guy that had tried to take his life. He was a shy kid that didn't talk much, but that didn't stop you. You talked with him almost every minute you could. You became friends and eventually, he asked you out. You said yes. I remember when you went out that first night. I didn’t want to let you go. If I hadn’t maybe you’d still be mine.  
You came home after that date and you looked so happy. You said he was wonderful and that you were going on another date next week. You loved that date even more than the last. You texted and called him every day. You said you loved him. After that I was afraid. I was afraid that he would come and take you away from me that you would leave me here. In this empty house. Alone.  
You had him over for Christmas and he was charming. He was polite and funny. And he barely took his eyes off you the entire evening. We talked for a long time that night. We talked about the weather, our favorite movies, school. He was going to Yale, like your mother. She studied astronomy like him. Once she told me, ‘The stars tell you things, you only have to listen.’ You remind me so much of her. You have her smile and her laugh and her love for helping people. You remind me more and more of her each day.  
Your mother loved you more than you can ever know. She loved you up until the day she died. She spent every day with you, even when she was sick. Even though she was in constant pain from the treatments, she still made time for her little star.  
A couple days after Christmas you came to me overjoyed. You were going to get married. My heart was full and broken. You were so happy, and that meant you would be leaving me for him. You planned a summer wedding. You wanted a church wedding, with yellow roses, and everyone we knew. You asked if I was happy. I said I was.  
The day of the wedding came and I was so scared. I knew you would have a long and happy life together. Full of love and life. Growing up you told me you wanted four kids, two girls and two boys. Before the wedding I asked how many kids you wanted and you still wanted four, two boys and two girls.  
The church was beautiful. There were flowers everywhere and in every shade of yellow imaginable. Rose petals lined the aisle to match your bouquet. The bridesmaids had bouquets of pale yellow lilies and heather. Everyone looked so happy. I waited outside the doors. I waited for you to come up the drive in your white dress. I waited for my last moment before I had to give you away. The clock ticked, past the hour, past when you should have been here. He came out to see what was wrong. We were worried. I called you and held my breath.  
You didn’t answer. He got worried. He thought you had abandoned him. I called your best friend who was with you. She didn’t answer either. I paced. I paced back and forth between the columns. I paced for what seemed like hours. He sat on the steps his head in his hands. He sat on the steps shoulders shaking.  
A car drove up the drive. A car that wasn’t yours. He stood up tears rolling down his cheeks. We stared as a man got out of the car. A man with a gold badge. He stood before us and simply said, ‘I’m sorry’. I collapsed on the stairs. The man continued to talk to him. With every word his face fell, farther and farther. He collapsed next to me. The man looked at us pitiingly going inside to tell everyone else.  
We sat there. Not sure of what to do next. I pulled him into a hug and we sat there clinging to each other hoping that the man was wrong, or maybe he didn’t mean it. We were hoping that you would walk up here in your white dress. But you didn’t. You didn’t.  
The man took us to see you. You were so still, you looked calm, peaceful. Your ivory dress was stained crimson. Your golden curls surrounded you like a halo. He held your hand and wept. I kissed your forehead and left. I couldn't stand to look at you. I waited for him outside. He looked horrible. I must have looked just as bad. He stayed with me that first night. He stayed with me until today.  
Today we said goodbye to you. It was sunny out, you would have liked it. We tried to make it a celebration. We tried to remember the best bits, not the last bits. We told stories about when you were a child, and how crazy you could be. One time you had convinced yourself that you were a bird. You ran around the yard flapping your arms and making chirping noises. Your mother made you a bird costume and you refused to take it off. At dinner that night you refused to eat anything unless it was cut up in little bites. Little bites, perfect for my little chickadee. Life was simpler then, simple and good.  
Now everything is different. You’re gone and he’s here. There were so many people all trying to say how sorry they were and that it would be ok. I watched the church empty. One by one everyone left until it was just us. He came to the house later and said he was sorry, that he loved you, that he knew how I felt. But he didn’t know how it felt. How could he know? I yelled at him. I told him I never wanted him here again. You’re gone and I blame him. Maybe if he hadn’t asked you out. Maybe if I hadn’t let you go. Maybe then you’d be here.  
The stars are beautiful tonight. They remind me of your mother. Before she died we would lay out in the grass and stargaze. She would tell us the constellations and you would all make up stories about them. Now there’s no one to name the constellations or make up stories.  
I’m all alone here. I wanted to go back in time and talk to you. I wanted to tell you ‘I love you’ and hug you. To take you out to that ice cream place you love so much. The one that gives you scoops so big you can hardly finish it. And I wanted to walk you down the isle. Give you away.  
All my love,  
your father


End file.
